"I don't believe in marriage" and

Every time I say this, someone gives me a funny look.

Like "This cray cray ratchet girl just say she don't believe in marriage?" or "It's not Santa... or the Easter Bunny... it's marriage."

Yes, it's marriage. It happens every day and all that.

But I think it's an outdated and failing institution. Marriages don't work. (This is, as far as I'm concerned, the rule. If you are an exception to this rule, props to you.)

(Feel free to skip this next bit and pick up at the next bolded section if you don't want to read my view on homosexual marriages.)

First, let's talk about how marriages are excluding couples. This isn't a gay marriage protest post, but I'd like to know why a same-sex couple isn't entitled to a piece of paper guaranteeing the security of their relationship? It really isn't your business, but I think if I was a lesbian and I had a girl I'd love to spend the rest of my life with... I'd like knowing that I could die today and she could be taken care of by whatever I've left behind.

Yes, the Bible outlines it as being wrong and on that ground your argument may have some basis. But the Bible also states that the removal of the penis before ejaculation is wrong (so, hey, you guys talking about "I'll pull out", you're sinning), a woman in a man's clothing is wrong (you too, ladies in pants... and Amanda Bynes, we aaaaaall saw She's the Man), the trimming of facial hair of men (bros, that line up? Might be your ticket to Hell...), the mixing of textiles in outfits (you DARED to put on a cotton tee with those denim jeans?!), adultery is a sin - even if you cast your eye upon another with lust and desire (you check out another girl, but you have yourself a wifey a yaad?), the wearing of gold jewellery, pearls, costly adornments by women (hahahaha - your entire jewellery box is standing between you and salvation), speaking about another person's evil (you gossipmongers), despising government ("PNP a slackness!"), getting drunk (I hope you guys had fun on grandmarket night), fornication and prostitution, gambling (we see you, boys in the sixth form study rooms playing poker), idols (that's a pretty Mercedes...), being lazy (an actual thing, don't just take my word for it: 2 Thes 3:10 - 12, Eph. 5:16, Heb 6:12, Ecc 10:18), lying - but also TRUSTING in lies, bad manners (I hope you said 'good morning' when you woke up), sex with a prostitute/with a virgin without marrying her/with a relative/with someone who is already married/with a virgin, betrothed-if she cries out, you should be put to death and if she doesn't you should both be put to death, tattoos (YOLO trampstamp now, Hell tomorrow?), being a witch or having anything to do with a witch (how many of y'all read Harry Potter? I know I did..) and seeking riches. These are only a few. You can check out some more here or here or here.

And James 2:10 says "whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one part of it has become accountable for all of it". In Matthew 7:3, Jesus himself mocks you for attempting to remove the speck from your brother's eye while the plank blinds you.

Denying them the right to get married doesn't stop their relationship from happening. So before you go devoting your precious time to ensuring that these couples stay unwed, go sort out the man or woman having sex with someone else in your bed. Sorry, not sorry.

This is my opinion. I'm not forcing you to agree, but I'm asking you to be respectful and diplomatic about your disagreement. Thanks.

I've been told that when I get older, my views will change (and I'm opening myself up for the possibility of this - I'm actually eager for this... I love to hear OTHER people's views on marriage, in the hope that it will help to shape mine, as a matter of fact, a male friend or two of mine have contributed greatly, but I'll get to  that soon). I'm still not satisfied.

I can't actually see myself devoting my entire life to someone else yet - vacations with them, waking up to them, etc. I like being able to escape from people or a person in particular if I don't feel like I can deal with them, and return when I can. It's like being handcuffed (or fingercuffed, heh heh heh...) to that same person. Forever. *shudders*

The ROUTINE. That may just be the worst possible thing, ever. I hate routines. I don't like doing the same thing over and over and over. If it becomes predictable, it becomes stifling and it makes me unhappy. And someone whose opinion I have always respected once said, "You wake up every morning beside the same ooman, nyam the same sh*tty breakfast,[ go to work and complain to your friends about the things that ooman always doing,] come home and nyam the same sh*tty dinner and go have the same boring sex if she nuh have some excuse why you shouldn't and go to bed so you can get up and do it again".

Interestingly enough though, one of my guy best friends said something to me recently that got me thinking. He said that the marriage most likely to work is the marriage with your best friend. And it made a lot of sense to me.

But until I find a man who is both my lover and my best friend, and is someone I can happily imagine waking up next to every morning (even with morning breath and messy hair) and sharing a family, a home and a life with? I'm with those anti-marriage people.

People are always asking me stuff like "So... you don't plan to get married?"

I have bigger plans. I plan to see the world, study abroad.... I have an entire bucket list. But, ironically enough, getting married is on this bucket list. I want to be proven wrong. And I especially want to have a wedding of my own - I love love love love weddings.

Yours not-in-matrimony,
me.


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A couple of interesting articles:
(Note: these aren't necessarily my opinion. The fact that they are shared on my blog proves nothing. It wasn't necessarily something this Mandeville girl said, or felt... or agreed with. I just felt like sharing.) (These are actually in ascending order of awesomeness; they get more interesting as you go down.)

9 Marriage Rules You SHOULD Break
17 Rules for a Happy Marriage from God's Great Book
Marriage and Divorce Statistics from Dr Phil
11 Rules on Marriage That You Won't Learn in School
25 Extremely Strange Marriage Traditions
50 Wedding Traditions and Superstititions