I started looking into teenage relationships. (Because this is part of the topic of my IA. I should really be doing said IA. But y'know, if inspiration comes a-knocking and you send her away, you have to wait for her to return.) I started thinking about my own views on teenage relationships, which I'm not even sure are valid because I am a teenager.
It's sorta like "Should cows eat grass?" by a cow.
Okay, maybe not. Bear with me. Huge cup of coffee with lots and lots of sugar to make the taste of blackness go away. I'm a fan of coffee, but I'm not always a fan of the taste of coffee. It's weird.
Anyways. Off tangent. Back to the topic. Teenage relationships.
What do kids know about relationships and love and making a relationship last?
Probably nothing.
But what do adults?
What does anyone?
It's not fair to base our ability to love another person on our age or our maturity levels. What's the relationship between age/maturity and being with another person anyways?
As far as experience goes, I have very little. I've only ever had one committed relationship. Before that there were crushes, and then after that there was a stupid stint with a boy who was as bad for me as mixing my pills and now there's... this.
Whatever this is.
I don't know how to define this. I don't even know how to feel about this. But I'm not going to overthink this, yet. I'm just... gonna give it the chance to be what it wants to be. One of my art teachers once said to me, "The mark of the great sculptor is a great listener. You have to let it tell you what it is; it's not for you to decide." I'm going to look at this as a piece of art - something beautiful, something delicate, something fragile and something full of possibility.
I could break it, or I could listen to it and feel it out and then let it tell me what it is.
So I'm listening.
What I like about teenage relationships, though, is that they're so much while still being so very little. They aren't permanent but still they inspire change and growth and help to make two individuals better. That is, if they'll let it. (Sometimes they reject 'better' and be 'bitter' - I know this, I was and still am a little bit bitter. But I'm working on being better.)
My first relationship taught me an infinite amount of things. If I started to think about them, they'd flow from my fingertips and I'd be here for a long time. I promise one day to think about all those things and tap them out and free them from my mind, but not now.
My flirtationship taught me some very valid lessons too. One of the greatest things I learnt from that is that you can't forget the climb, no matter how great or how terrible the view from the top is. (No matter how much the end product sucks, you just can't erase how much you invested and how long it took. You just have to let it pull you up.) I also learnt the importance of having someone to talk to. Even if just for a little while, every day. Even if they weren't really yours to own. Just someone who cared enough to listen helped ease a burden.
And now... I'm learning the importance of being a good friend before being a great lover. (If ever a great lover.) At least if I fail at being a great lover, I took the time to be a good friend first. This boy sure is something else though. I can't tell the last time I had someone I felt so comfortable around. Not just being close to, but sharing myself with. It's certainly very nice.
Teenage relationships offer a challenge. Teenage relationships leave room for growth. Teenage relationships inspire. Teenage relationships experience.
Most importantly, teenage relationships are the things we reflect on and think "Damn. Those sure were the days."
I hope I'm creating a chapter of love I'll be happy to reread when I'm old.
Procrastinatingly yours,
me.
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