I will never seek to be someone's other half and

This is why.

I have paid my dues to half boys and half men who have no idea of what they want, but think that toying with me will compensate for something they've never had but have been told they need. 

Whatever it is, I do not have it. I am not it. I do not know where it is. 

If you are looking for your masculinity, I am a woman. I cannot give you the secret to being a man—and I will not let you abuse me, mistreat me and wield your power over me until you are satisfied. I will not let you dominate me, disrespect and disgrace me until you think you have fulfilled your requirements for masculinity. 

If you are looking for a full time companion, then I am not it. I am on my own path, coming to terms with my own loneliness. I am trodding Jah road on my own, forging my path by myself. I cannot be your walking stick when your legs grow weary. 

If you want a lover, that is not me. I am already in love with myself; busy satisfying all the whims of this spontaneous love affair. On the good days, I spoil me. On the bad days when I struggle to love me, I take comfort in never being abandoned by me. I am busy with loving myself, I cannot love you more than me. 

I cannot keep compensating for what you lack, half boys and half men. I cannot keep filling gaps and plugging holes and soothing a yearning for things you've often never even had or known. I cannot keep giving while I am empty. 

I am on this path by myself to seek some kind of fulfillment, to fill the emptiness and the yearning. I chase growth, change, development. What I need is somebody whole who, when I am whole, will be my partner.