Disclaimer: This is my preferred method. Results may vary.
Give in to your emotions. If you want to cry? Then you go ahead and cry. If you want to laugh? Throw your head back and cackle. If you want to curl up in bed and listen to depressing music with your curtains drawn? Go for it!
...but don't give in to the urge to gain 30lb. I know the chocolate and icecream will be there for you - trust me, it will always be there for you. On your hips and thighs and your sides and your belly and your flabby arms. I'm not saying don't eat it... but moderation is key. Exercise is also a great way to release anger and feel good. Go for a run. Do some kick boxing. Stretch. Getting moving is part of moving on.
Don't be pathetic. Don't complain to your friends about how your love life sucks, every single day. Eventually the whole supportive friend act will get exhausting and they will gently explain that nobody really gives a rat's ass if he was the love of your life. Life goes on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and expecting everyone to feel sorry for you. It holds you back.
Delete. Seriously. Delete his number, unfriend him on Facebook, delete every picture of the two of you, get rid of the saved messages. It is very important to get rid of all those pictures of him you taped to the wall above your desk. And don't keep checking his Facebook to see if he's happy or not - just don't. Chances are you've memorized his number, but if he ever shoots you a text? Hit him back with a "Who's this?" Let him know there is no room in your phone for his number. More importantly, let yourself know this.
Stop hating on him with all your friends. Seriously. Don't do this. It slows down the whole moving on process. Plus, your friends don't have any reason to hate him. Chances are neither do you. Accept that whatever happened in your relationship was just as much your fault as his, forgive him and forgive yourself. Stop bitching with your friends. And if, God forbid, you have a friend or friends who won't let it go... cause you gotta get that girlie in line.
Learn to be polite, if not nice or friendly. Don't go trying to best friend him back into your life or anything, but saying 'hi' or giving a little wave never killed anybody. Even if you're being cold shouldered, you can be the bigger person.
Do not find rebound guys. This one is really really really important. Don't use someone to get over someone else; you will hurt their feelings, you will hurt your feelings and you will be very sorry. It's complicated and it's ugly. Before you leap into another relationship, give yourself time. Time to figure out your feelings for old guy, your feelings for new guy, your feelings about you, time to get adjusted to the weight of your baggage.
Your friends are your support group. Remember that good friends are there for you, they want you to be happy, they want you to smile. They're on your side. This is a great time to spend time with them - it'll make you happy, boost your mood. Go see movies, go shopping, go out for lunch, talk on the phone. Keep your friends close.
Be happy. This one might be easier said than done, but it isn't that complicated. Being happy is a choice. You can choose to be happy. It really isn't what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. Decide that no matter what happens, you're gonna smile. Smile even if you don't feel like smiling. It's good for your health and better for your happiness.
Now good luck, girlies! We're letting go and it feels good :D
I can't say I know for sure what love is, and I won't pretend I know what love is. Maybe someday I will but this isn't the day. I do, however, have a couple of ideas. And I've gotten some interesting replies. I'll quote those I've collected - giving credit to initialed owners so as to protect my identity through protecting theirs because I'm selfish - and the rest are ones I've been formulating (that are mostly silly, but sometimes serious).
Love is when the length of time is insignificant compared to the depth of time. When it doesn't matter if you've been together for thirty years, or thirty days.
Love is "when you'd crawl over a mile of broken glass, just to hear them fart though a walkie-talkie." J.K.
Love is "when their little quirks make you smile and the little facial expressions they make are recognizable to you and you just always want to see them happy." M.C.
Love is the difference between tolerating someone's flaws and accepting someone's flaws. You tolerate what you can't change and you accept what you wouldn't, if you could. When you can say "this is a flaw, but you wouldn't be you without it and therefore I wouldn't get rid of it", you're in love.
Love is "...when you consider it something of value." T.J.
"Romantic love is merely an idea to me. I do not believe in it." R.N.
Love is when you'd be rolling with them on the bus, just like how you'd be with them rocking in the Rover.
Love is when the butterflies in your tummy have butterflies, and you only just heard their name.
Love is "being afraid to think of your world without someone, (with that in mind then I only really love my family)." Z.G.
Love is finding peace in the midst of chaos.
Love is "being able to submit all your effort into caring for someone and showing them that you care, with constant reminders of course." M.D.
"Love means liking someone even after you've seen them at their worst or some bullsh*t like that. Either way, the meaning is f*cked and the feeling is tiring." J.J.
Love is when they confess to not liking Harry Potter and you choose to keep them around anyways.
Love is "never having to say you're sorry." S.L.
Love is "pizza, ice cream, a warm blanket, a couch and a good movie... but mostly pizza, and bacon." R.W.
Love is "only good in the movies- in real life, it's lame. A little cynical, but it's better to be cynical than delusional." C.G.
"Sometimes it's sharing, but most times not. Other times it's a shoulder to lean on and if it goes both ways all the better. Often times it just makes you weak and vulnerable; an easy target... but it's the sweetest when new, but after? Oh well!" P.G.
Love is when someone sees me for who I am, rather than for what I have to offer... no matter how large, how small, how relevant or how necessary.
Love is "that warm, fuzzy feeling deep inside. When the person farts and you choke out through a cloud of fumes: "is that new perfume?" K.M.J.
Love is "comfort. When you're able to sit with someone and be comfortable, no matter where you are or what you're doing." M.L.
"#sprung - when yu go sleep same time as di smaddy caw yu nuh waan be awake widout dem" "#sprung when yu phone start dead and yu call dem from di nex one widout hang up di fus one caw yu nuh waan go a minute widout dem voice" "#sprung when yu rather cotch pon cold floor wid smaddy dan sleep separately inna unnu individual bed" "#sprung when yu stop wear make up and mek yu hair do wah it like caw dem say dem nuh matter bout dem summn deh" "#sprung when yu just now realise say unnu only talk to one anedda in whispers and widout knowing it unnu always a hold hand" "#sprung when yu a dead fi sleep and a fight it caw di smaddy weh yu deh wid/into still awake" Tweets from @mooremayhem, on Twitter.
Love is when you'd stay up on the phone until three in the morning, mostly listening to them play FIFA with the Mexicans, even though you love to sleep. True story.
Love is when you let them tease you, and trick yourself into thinking it's sweet.
Love is "love, man. Like you legit care about a nigga. You want the nigga to be happy, man, even if you ain't, man. Nah mean? To the moon and back even if it's not your main b*tch. Nah mean? You just care so much bout your b*tch and yo nigga. It's like wow, man. Like wow." F.E.
Love is "when you find that person that makes you feel bubbly through the good times and the bad. That happy feeling that won't seem to go away even when you try hard to reject the idea of being happy with that person." B.B.
Love is "something we've inherited from God himself, and in a way it's the way all of us try to imitate him, even though we've almost completely messed it up. To me though, It's an ever present urge to put someone ahead of yourself whether or not they want you to, which is why it's so draining if it isn't returned in equal measure. Those yearnings (tied with the need for companionship with the object of that love) and a bag of emotions. It surpasses the emotions though, fueled and expressed through action. Without the action it dies. Actions keep at least the embers alight getting through the worst days, and blazes up the passions and emotions on the better ones." M.N.
"I think it's when you have a special feeling about something; no matter what's going on, it's always in the back of your mind just because you care for it so much. Everytime you see it, you get like this weird feeling inside. What love means to me? Love means FIFA." B.M.
"1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." The Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 (NIV Version) Fun fact: this is one of my all time favourite Bible verses.
So, it's safe to say that love means something different to everyone - some serious, some deep, some cynical, some ridiculous. That's part of the magic, isn't it? Love has just that many perspectives. I guess (one day, maybe one day soon?) I'll revisit this and explore more of what it means to me than a few little punchlines... but until then... As a little nudge at myself, I'll end with:
Love is when you find yourself wondering "is this love?"
Lovingly yours,
me.
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Check out Carrie Fletcher's compiled take on what love is!
It was bound to ruin the great thing I had going for me.
I dunno why I can't just shut my mouth and accept that there are people who care about me. And I dunno why it's just that much harder to do when it's someone I'm attracted to.
When people get all emotionally supportive and caring and nice, I get vicious and catty and nasty. I scare them away with my ...me-ness.
I won't say what I did because I am ridiculously ashamed of myself, but it was really bad. I don't know why he would ever speak to me again, because I certainly don't deserve it.
The thing is though, I'm not just good at screwing up romantic type relationships, but casual ones too. Friends that stick around despite by bitch major complex are real friends, and I think I have a handful of them who have seen more that my first layer of nasty and hung around.
So, right here, I would like to give major major major props to my best friend, my better half, the only person who knows I'm mad puss piss crazy and doesn't seem to care. My sour muffin! Girl, you have seen numerous layers of what I'm like when I'm at my worst and my worstest and my worstester and you still seem to like me. I have to thank the Lord for a best friend like you.
And I have a handful of other friends, who, despite not knowing and experiencing nearly as bad a me as my best friend, but certainly a ridiculous degree of me and have hung around and for that you all deserve a shiny gold medal. (And a few who deserve some huge ass trophies, I won't mention your names... but I believe two of you read this blog, so to my Reckless and Relentless, and to my cornbread muffin? Big. ass. gold. trophies. so. heavy. you. can't. LIFT. them. Holla.)
Now, I have to figure out how I'm going to fix all the messes I've made in the last couple of days... I just need to stop being so angry, so scared, so insecure and so ridiculous and TELL THE BOY HOW I FEEL. Like, really.
I need to stop bottling up everything and letting it eat away at me until there's really nothing left to do but to let it all out in one bitch attack that really isn't fair to anybody. Communication is key, and it's a damn shame I'm bad at that too.
I am so bad at communication that I am bad at it on different levels: not just the "take-forever-to-reply" level, but on the "rambling-without-ever-saying-anything-meaningful" level and on the killing the conversation at various degrees level too. I just... suck. True story.
But I can't keep putting off the fixing stage- I have slept for countless hours since Sunday night, eaten every single fruit I can peel, watched too much bad TV, made my baby brother sick of me and flipped through all the social media I participate in... there isn't much left to do to put this-... Ooh, look! Carrie Diaries Season One finished torrenting :/
..No! Bad, me! Bad! Fix this. Fix this now. Ughh. Or later? Since he has an exam? Right. Later. I will fix this later.
(I challenged myself to write something that explored what I liked about myself, and this is what I came up with... Kinda rough; expected from someone who's been neglecting poetry.)
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Curves are the best part about my body—
The upward curve of my eyelashes when I turn my eyes down, their shadows cast against my cheeks
The way my top lip curves at my Cupid's bow, stretched taut and armed with promise
The curve of my jaw when it rests against the curves of your shoulder, your arm, your lap
The simplest curves of my naked shoulder and my bare lower back, sometimes sexy without even trying
The curves of my hips and my waist—"too wide"/"not wide enough", just fine and all mine
The curves of my fingertips and how you somehow don't seem to hate them against your skin
